Step One: Getting Out of the Closet

Afraid of getting out? You're not alone. Most TG's have or have had fears of getting out, especially the first time out. Many start by getting dressed and going to a parking lot and just staying in the car or maybe making a brief trip across the lot and quickly back to the car. Another favorite is finding a quiet street at night far from one's neighborhood and taking a quick walk down to the corner or being really brave and walking around the block. Those first time experiences can be quite an adrenaline rush. Such actions can also be risky and/or dangerous.

Eventually, when that is no longer a challenge, thoughts turn toward finding a quiet store to venture into, to pretend to do some shopping. Also, a strong desire to make social contact may develop. transgendered want to fit into society without standing out, without being noticed, and without risking discovery.

There is a better way, safer, less anxious, and a lot more fun. Actually there are several ways, but this article will relate two that are relatively easy and cost very little once you are to the point of coming out. The hardest part of both is the initial step through the doorway.

One of the least expensive ways for a crossdresser to get out is go to a bar that has drag shows, or to a gay bar. If you're still not up to going in drag, go in drab. Many gay bars are fairly understanding of TG's because the gay community has many of the same repressions of society that we have. Not all gays are open-minded, so do your homework.

Saturday night seems to be the night of choice for TG's to get out, and Blake's in St. Louis is often the most popular place to meet others, a great place to start. In addition to the performers, there are usually at least a few other TG's at the tables or bar. There are other gay bars in St. Louis that offer a variety of entertainment. In St. Louis, I know of only one gay bar that refuses to let crossdressers in. Check out - Getting Out - TGGuide.

Another alternative is to find a TG social club or organization that has monthly meetings. Experience can be gained at the meetings and friendships can develop. Many club websites throughout the US are listed at - Links - Support- Clubs. Clubs often provide changing rooms for members, and if you feel you need assistance in getting from the changing room (or your room if you obtained one) to the meeting room, ask ahead of time and some member will gladly help. We have all been there. I was petrified my first meeting, even though I had been doing the bar scene and had a few crossdressing friends. That was just the fear of the unknown.

Both of the above offer a bit of a comfort zone. They are relatively safe places to go to avoid being spotted by someone you know, unless they are crossdressing also. Both places are safe from violence. You get out, people see you and they don't bite. You don't have to worry about fitting in with a certain form of dress or whether your hips or breasts are too large or too small. Likewise, makeup and mannerisms are less important here than getting out in the general public. You can see how others crossdress and act, but don't expect any norm. Some individuals dress and act very conservatively while others are a bit bizarre. I myself have a wide range of dress depending on my mood and where I am going. I'll get into that in Getting Out - Step 2.

The Internet can also be a good place to find another TG to meet you at the door of one of the bars or club for help with that first step across the threshold.

The main point of Step 1 is to get out and put your fears of the unknown behind you.

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