The Transgendered Phenomenon

Part 3

     Guilt is an emotional struggle that many transgendered suffer from.  What actions have caused the guilt?  You are not the only one who is transgendered.  There is nothing wrong with being transgendered, or crossdressing.  Repeat that to yourself often, like an affirmation.  Some actions taken to hide it may be wrong and will probably cause more guilt and anxiety. 

So you’ve been a naughty little boy, putting on your mother's (sister’s, wife’s) shoes. Well maybe you have been naughty--why don’t you go out and get your own shoes?

    This is not to say that everyone should know you are transgendered, but depending upon your involvement, some other people may have a right to know.  (On a personal note I have had extraordinarily good fortune in coming out, and now my only feeling of guilt is that I am having too much fun.) Unfortunately, society has only just begun to accept the transgendered.  Many people don’t approve; many are indifferent.  Find a transgender support group or social group and talk with other transgendered. This can help to overcome the feelings of guilt and anxiety.

     Fear is another emotion that TG’s have to deal with. Many fears are very real and should not be taken lightly: fear of violence, job loss, disruptions or loss of relationships, loss of credibility, etc. As mentioned before, there are very few laws protecting transgendered from discrimination or hate crimes. Other fears are not associated with a tangible loss: being ridiculed or rebuffed by strangers or sales clerks. For some additional thoughts on fears, click here.

     The most frequent reason an individual seeks psychological help is to determine whether he should come out to a loved one.  Two excellent articles are linked here: “Acceptance? Try to see it from the other side” and “ Why Bother Coming Out?” (Remember the Spectrum.)  There are numerous articles on the web about coming out; most are positive some are not.  Consider who is writing an article and remember it is always easier to write about a success story.  Coming out involves a great deal of risk, but so does hiding one's feelings.  Each individual is different, has different circumstances and must determine what is best for him and his family.  Again depending on involvement (where an individual is on the transgender spectrum), support can be important.  Look for support through clubs , trusted friends, Internet, etc.


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